PEOPLE, COME TOGETHER

Do you know my favorite part of not being on church payroll? I can say controversial things without getting in too much trouble. I can also use improper grammar and break the forth wall. I’m about to do just that so buckle up.

If 2020 taught us anything its that we don’t have a clue about liberty and unity and how those two things symphonize to form an ideal societal construct. If you think this post is offering a solution, read no further because it won’t do that, I promise. Fear of Covid-19 and the perceived loss of liberty from extremist conspiracy theorists (i.e. boiling a frog analogy) and the coincidence of an election year has spurred fear which is the predecessor of all things that are not of the fruits of the spirit. I can use run-on sentences, I’m not on payroll. This is not a new circumstance, shifting of power either from elected officials or reaction to a catastrophic event like a pandemic has been happening since human history has been documented. The power shift, or any remarkable change for that matter, has been a source of fear which leads to anger which leads to irreparable actions. You know, riots, violence, racism, blocking family members on Facebook, all the fun things we got to experience this past year.

Let’s put that in context shall we?

Think about the quote “not my president” that was the battlecry of the far left after the 2016 election. Now compare that to the exodus of the congregation last time your church experienced a major event such as a pastor or key leader retiring. To that point, right or left, we’re are hypocrites. To say otherwise deepens the hypocrisy. Speaking of which - legalism and righteous adherence to nostalgic doctrine of the church, especially narrowly-accepted doctrine of individual denominations, has been a plague since the bible was written and that is what we’re talking about from here out. I live in Amish country which is a small sample size but remains epicenter of legalism in religion. That makes me an expert on the matter.

Within Stage Skins, we aren’t strangers to the keyboard warriors’ observations that they’re so keen to share with us. We average as many negative comments about how sanctuaries are too dark, the experience is too much like a rock concert, the pastor’s jeans are too skinny, the music is too loud, etc. as we do positive feedback. After all, the bible does say:

“9Thou shalt wear a suit (relaxed fit only) and tie to church and sit in a well-lit room on oak pews. 10The music must be led by an organ or piano of which the operator must be at least 60 years old, female, and wear an ankle-length skirt. If she wears pants, she must be stoned to death by the potluck planning committee. 11Her perfume must smell like an old department store and give you an instant migraine”

- 2 Karen 15:9-11…probably

A few weeks ago we shared a post of one of our customers’ stages, featuring our products. We received the typical nonsense from the atheists. We even have a regular who insists that contemporary churches are designed for “anal orgies”, a fun little direct quote for you. We also had the slew of faithful taggers; non-decision makers and volunteers at churches who tag the decision-maker for consideration next time the stage set gets changed. Then the people that I detest, the Sunday afternoon lunch crowd (SALCs). If you aren’t familiar, these are the people who get done shaking hands and praising Jesus at church then go out to eat at their favorite Kitsch chain restaurant, complain the whole time, judge the waitress, then leave no tip. Really leaves a wonderful impression of the one who is responsible for our creation and salvation in whose likeness we were created. Seriously, F* them. That is the type of person that jumped on a post we shared from a satisfied customer who proudly showcased their creativity at work on their latest stage set.

When it comes to negative comments, we have profanity filters, however we let just about anything else fly. You want to start an argument about how hymns are superior to Elevation Worship? Great, all Facebook sees is that our post is getting engagement and rewards us with more impressions. You’re just making yourself out to be a A-word (algorithm-pleaser). One of the best is when people take the time to comment that we’re cluttering up “their” timeline. Thanks for the engagement! The only moderation we perform is when a user directly attacks a church. We had one of those last week and had to delete the comment. This SALC went on to DM Stage Skins and ask where her comment was, then email the church directly which eventually turned to harassment. This is disgusting. She is disgusting. She is a self-proclaimed Christian.

I recently learned a term from an acquaintance who works in military intelligence. “Useful idiots” in the context of the US political scene are uber patriotic conservatives or profoundly progressive leftists who like and share any information that appears to be counter-productive to their opponents, regardless of fact. Certain adversaries of the United States will use meme farms, that’s right, meme farms, to create political memes that are unbased and not even funny but the useful idiots will eat them up. Millions of shares later, a meme becomes fact. This woman who attacked this church on Facebook is a useful idiot only the puppetmaster is not some foreign power attempting to tamper with political powers or manipulate a market. That’s right, this is the new face of spiritual warfare. This is heaven vs. hell.

Here’s the point, finally.

This is what the enemy wants. He wants us to fight among ourselves. He wants us to get caught up in rhetoric and trivialities that overshadow the truth of salvation. Here is the hard-to-swallow pill that I’m going to leave you with. Jesus doesn’t care about wood pews, he doesn’t care if you worship on your knees or with your hands in the air, he doesn’t care about the decibel or lumen level of the room. He cares that his children are doing their best to use what gifts they have to create and environment that is conducive to spending time in worship and community.

*F stands for forgive…duh.

Also, buy Stage Skins, I’m not on payroll there either.